AITA For Refusing To Buy Girlfriend A Diamond Ring

"I’ve always known marriage is super important to her, but I didn’t realize she’d insist on a diamond ring."

BuzzFeed Staff

"My GF and I have always seemed to be on the same page when it comes to saving money. I assumed she would be fine with a more affordable ring. When I started looking into rings, I discovered moissanite rings, which look similar to diamond rings but are much more affordable. I was looking at rings in the $1,500–$1,800 range," Dry explained.

"She seemed genuinely mad and said it wasn’t 'that expensive.' We got in a pretty big argument over it. I told her that it was ridiculous to ask me to spend that much and that I thought she was more reasonable than that. She said I was being cheap and that I could afford it, and that I was basically saying she wasn’t worth it. I told her no one is worth a 10,000 ring."

"So I talked to my older sister about it who, despite agreeing diamond rings were stupidly priced, sided with my GF and said if I could afford it, she didn’t see the big deal. She added that my GF has done 'so much' for me, and I was being an asshole about this."

"She also helped me get a job with her uncle, who was the VP of an insurance company (It was an entry-level position, and I had a business degree, so it’s not like I was unqualified).

Obviously, I’ve thanked her for all she did for me, but it’s not something we talk about much. I don't think I’m obligated to buy an expensive ring because she helped me out a few years ago. But if my own sister said this, I’m guessing my GF must feel the way as well. AITA here?"

"You're the asshole because... You have to understand that from her perspective, you are telling her, 'I know you want this diamond, but I don’t think you are worth the money and I want to give you a cheaper alternative to what you want even though I can afford to give you the one thing that you asked for,'" Spinnabl said. "Especially since you came at the angle that moissanite is a cheaper, similar gem. I’m sure it would be different if you had brought it up like... 'I know you think diamonds are pretty, but I know you also care about ethical sourcing and sustainability, why don’t we look at some alternatives?' Instead, you came from a purely financial standpoint, which very easily comes off as 'you’re not worth this much money.'"

"You are supposed to love her and you literally gave her worth a monetary value of less than $10,000. That had to have hurt her horribly. I hope you apologized for that."

"This is a ring she’s going to be wearing 24/7 for the rest of her life. That is a HUGE deal. By your own admission, she’s not a materialistic person; this is just the one thing she wants. $6000 spread out over the next 60+ years is absolutely a worthy investment for your future wife," an anonymous user wrote. "It’s not about you owing her for her helping you. She did that because she loves you. This girl never asks for anything; you should be doing this because you love her. It would be different if you straight up couldn’t afford it, but clearly you can."

"Her covering for you after your accident and letting you live with her for free was a big deal, especially since you hadn't been together that long. Now, I don't think that obligates you to pay for the ring, mostly because I think it's just what you do when somebody you care about needs help and you can help them. However, it does prove that she's there for the good and the bad and that she has your back, which is something everyone wants to believe about their partner, but few get a chance to have it proven to them the way you did," wmciner1 said.

"You said, 'I don't think I’m obligated to buy an expensive ring because she helped me out a few years ago.' My man, your GF isn't obligated to marry you," J0sey_W4les_23 added.